"Blogger" assholes...

The stupid shit that people decide to do to their "blogs" astounds me. Here's a short list of all the shit that pisses me off:

1.) Autoplay Music:
The Problem:
Putting music on your site is fine. But making it play automatically is obnoxious. First of all, the chances that anyone else is going to enjoy your taste in music is pretty small, especially when it's fuckin Alicia Keys. Second, no matter what kind of music you put up on there, nobody is going to mistake you for having a personality. And third, if your conceited, pseudo-intellectual ramblings won't kill my attention span, then your background music will.

How to Improve:
Don't make it play automatically, douche. Take me for example, mine doesn't play automatically. It's a discreet interface at the top right of the screen that patiently waits for you to press the "play" button if you so choose. It even politely asks at the top of it, "enjoy music?"

2.) HIDDEN Autoplay Music:
The Problem:
ROAR!!! That shit is just uncalled for. Seriously, if you make your music play automatically WITHOUT MY CONSENT and then go on to HIDE THE STOP BUTTON you are a MEAN-SPIRITED BASTARD.

How to Improve:
Allow us the choice to stop your shitty song from playing, you fascist.

3.) Hidden Dashboard:
The Problem: People who hide that little strip at the top that has the "next blog" button. Do you know why the "next blog" button is there? Because your blog fuckin sucks, and we want to skip it. Stop hoarding all of the attention.

How to Improve:
Pretty self-explanatory. Put it back on there.

4.) Pseudo-intellectual blogs:
Okay, these are easy to recognize. Firstly, they always have a lame title that either is some allusion to Greek mythology ("Daedalus' Precaution") or something else that's stupid, like ("In parallel with the Universe"). Then, 9 times out of 10, the description will have the word "ramblings" in it. "Merely the conceinted ramblings of a self-proclaimed nerd." Ramblings = shit. And yeah. There's no reason to 'self-proclaim' that you're a nerd, it's pretty fuckin obvious.

How to Improve:
Shut the fuck up.

5.) 40+ blogger:
You have no right to be "blogging" or even using the self-check out stand at Wal*Mart if you're above the age of 40. This is OUR generation, you fucking ex-hippies. If it weren't for you old motherfuckers who have no idea how to operate a computer the tech support lines wouldn't fucking busy all the time. That pisses me off, dude. I'm on hold with a REAL PROBLEM while some Vietnam era baby boomer can't figure out how to check his e-mail.

How to Improve:
Get younger?

That is all.